Our Voices Matter

Testimony by Anonymous

I know sadly all too well the effects of even "soft-core" pornography's sexist objectification of women, because I was repeatedly treated as nothing but a sex object, and grabbed at in my crotch and breasts as a big busted beautiful girl by many teen boys. Two of the many who treated me this way repeatedly used pornography but this was in 1979 so hardcore wasn't mainstreamed and accessible like now. One of these 15 year old boys made two verbal references to the women in Playboy and another shoved a pornographic magazine into my face and said, “Here is a picture of a girl fingering herself!” Not that it ever justifies it in any way, but I just wanted people to know that I wore no make up and never wore any provocative clothes.

When I was 25 in 1990 (before pornography was even on the internet and not nearly as mainstreamed) I spoke to a woman at the now sadly former feminist Women's Alliance Against Pornography & Education Project. I spoke to her off and on until January 1993 and I asked her to send me any information on the harms of pornography and she sent me a lot. I told her that when a lot of men would come to my house to fix or deliver things, they made sexist and inappropriate sexual comments and stared at me which made me uncomfortable and that I never wore provocative clothes and had little and sometimes no make up on. I told her they were treating me like I was just something to F*ck, and she said yes and that all comes from pornography. I had so many experiences like this even when I was as young as 13 by some men even and it really was sexual harassment.

I couldn't walk down the hall without boys making sexist degrading comments about me and how big busted I was. They also grabbed at another big busted girl. But it wasn't just teen boys. When I was 14 I was sitting on the art room steps with a boyfriend and the art room teacher who was at least in his late 20's, early 30's said to a whole room full of 15 year old boys that the boy I was sitting with said it was his turn after his. I'm sure he was a porn user too and got the attitude I was just a thing for boys and men to use for sex and take turns with! I actually am in some way a little "lucky" that this was in 1979 when images of men ejaculating on women's faces and bodies wasn't mainstreamed and all over the place (back then women were just things to feel, f*ck and forget. Now we are nothing but things to feel, f*ck, ejaculate all over on, call woman-hating names and forget! We have really come a long way baby!) because then they wouldn't just have grabbed at my breasts and crotch, but would have ejaculated or at least tried to on my face and breasts!

When I was 17 a school evaluator said that a lot of guys were going to want to get down my pants! Where do we think the teenage boys learn these kinds of sexist, woman-hating dehumanizing attitudes towards women from? The whole sexist, woman-hating male dominated sick society, the pornography that came from it, and the adult men who use it and are influenced by it all. Dr.Michael Flood said to me in an email back in 2002 after I told him about my experience, that he has no doubt on the connection of young men's pornography use and their sexual abuse of girls and women. And there is plenty of research and testimonies of girls and women about this.

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